Circus Read online

  I N S A N I T Y 3

  C I R C U S

  by Cameron Jace

  www.CameronJace.com

  Copyright

  First Original Edition, December 2015

  Copyright ©2015 Akmal Eldin Farouk Ali Shebl

  All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author.

  Other Books by Cameron Jace

  The Grimm Diaries Prequels Series

  The Grimm Diaries Prequels 1-6 (Free)

  The Grimm Diaries Prequels 7-10

  The Grimm Diaries Prequels 11-14

  The Grimm Diaries Prequels 15-18

  The Grimm Diaries Main Series

  Snow White Sorrow (book 1)

  Cinderella Dressed in Ashes (book 2)

  Blood, Milk & Chocolate Part 1 (book3)

  I Am Alive Series

  I Am Alive (book 1)

  Pentimento Series

  Pentimento (book 1)

  Books in the Insanity Series

  Insanity

  Figment

  Circus

  Hookah (coming soon

  How to read this book:

  Begin at the beginning

  and go until you come to the end;

  then stop.

  For those mad enough to believe in themselves, in spite of what the world says.

  Contents

  Prologue Part 1 * Prologue Part 2 *

  Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3 *

  Chapter 4 * Chapter 5 * Chapter 6 * Chapter 7 *

  Chapter 8 * Chapter 9 * Chapter 10 * Chapter 11 *

  Chapter 12 * Chapter 13 * Chapter 14 * Chapter 15 * Chapter 16 * Chapter 17 * Chapter 18 * Chapter 19 * Chapter 20 * Chapter 21 * Chapter 22 * Chapter 23 * Chapter 24 * Chapter 25 * Chapter 26 * Chapter 27 * Chapter 28 * Chapter 29 * Chapter 30 * Chapter 31 * Chapter 32 * Chapter 33 * Chapter 34 * Chapter 35 * Chapter 36 * Chapter 37 * Chapter 38 * Chapter 39 * Chapter 40 * Chapter 41 * Chapter 42 * Chapter 43 * Chapter 44 * Chapter 45 * Chapter 46 * Chapter 47 * Chapter 48 * Chapter 49 * Chapter 50 * Chapter 51 * Chapter 52 * Chapter 53 * Chapter 54 * Chapter 55 * Chapter 56 * Chapter 57 * Chapter 58 * Chapter 59 * Chapter 60 * Chapter 61 * Chapter 62 * Chapter 63 * Chapter 64 * Chapter 65 * Chapter 66 * Chapter 67 * Chapter 68 * Chapter 69 * Chapter 70 * Chapter 71 * Chapter 72 * Chapter 73 * Chapter 74 * Chapter 75* Chapter 76 * Chapter 77 * Chapter 78 * Chapter 79 * Chapter 80 * Chapter 81 *

  Epilogue * Thank You * Subscribe to Mailing List

  Prologue Part One

  The Six O’clock Circus, Mudfog Town, London

  Saturday, 11:41 p.m.

  The man with the rabbit stood in the middle of the circus while the children and their parents waited with anticipation. This was it! The Maddest Show on Earth, performed by the one and only magician who called himself the Hatter.

  The man wore a top hat. It was black, elegant, and rather funny. Several teaspoons and watches were neatly wrapped around the rims. He was tall. Almost seven feet. And he wore ridiculously tall boots with silver pins and stars. The hat made him look even taller.

  The children liked him. He was different, mysterious, and not as boring as their parents. Maddeningly funny, although he rarely spoke.

  But what the children absolutely loved about him were his goggles, which made him look like a huge bee. A crooked nose beaked out from underneath the goggles. Not an assuring sight for the parents at first. But the children still liked it. They knew it was meant to be silly, nonsensical, and absurd. Things the older folks rarely understood. Besides, it probably wasn't the Hatter’s real nose.

  The Hatter had a double chin, so strong it squeezed an old shilling between its cheeks. Not once had he dropped it, as if it were glued.

  He wore a tuxedo. It made him look a bit mature, compared to the absurdness of his face, hat, and goggles. But not really. It was a black tux, with spoons for buttons, sugar cup buttons for his sleeves, and teabags dangling from his upper pockets instead of a rose or a napkin.

  The children, who had been coming every week for almost two months, also liked his glittering gold pocket watch. They knew the time on that watch was always six o’clock.

  Always.

  That was why the Hatter claimed he never aged. Also why he never grew hungry. More significant, it was why he had his sugar cups and spoons always ready. He had to always have his six o’clock tea, which in his case was all day long.

  The Maddest Show on Earth always started at six o’clock.

  It also ended at six o’clock.

  Any time in between was, you guessed it, six o’clock.

  Usually the parents would curse the watchmakers on their way out of the circus each night, whining about their malfunctioning watches while inside the circus.

  The children would snicker, winking at each other. They knew the Hatter could stop time. But no parent would have believed them.

  Right now, almost midnight in the outside world, six o’clock inside the circus, the show was about to begin.

  Prologue Part Two

  The Six O’clock Circus, Mudfog Town, London

  Saturday, 11:51 p.m.

  Today, in a small, almost abandoned circus at the outskirts of London, the Hatter had promised the kids the Maddest Trick of All Time. It included a rabbit.

  But there was no rabbit to be seen. Not yet.

  The Hatter took off his hat, a few teacups plummeting to the sandy floor of the dimly lit circus. Without saying a word, he waved the hat in the air.

  Silence sucked off the breathing air. Everyone watched with anticipation.

  The Hatter slowly approached the circle’s rim, showing the hat to the audience. It was empty. He summoned a couple of kids to show them the hat, allowing them to confirm it was empty. Then he made them sit back next to their parents, who had paid nothing for this show. The Maddest Show on Earth was for free.

  Then the Hatter pulled out something that worried the parents, but made the children’s eyes widen with excitement. It was a bomb, full of colorful wires wrapped around a digital screen.

  The Hatter’s lips twitched. He seemed worried too. The bomb could blow up any minute. The parents squinted, grimaced, and tensed. The children, well, they were about to merrily clap their hands.

  Accidentally, the Hatter, posing like a magician, pushed a button on the wired bomb.

  It began ticking.

  A few parents shrieked, holding their children tighter.

  “It’s just a show, Mum!”

  “Be a man, Dad!”

  The timer ticked on a countdown from 666. Hours? Minutes? Seconds? No one knew.

  “Tick...” the Hatter finally said. He placed one hand behind his ears, waiting for the children’s response.

  “Tock!” The children raised their hands.

  “Tick!” The Hatter addressed the crowd on the other side of the circle.

  “Tock!” the children screamed. Their parents laughing uneasily.

  “That’s right,” the Hatter said, and sipped from a cup of tea in a nearby table. “Now, what would you say if I told you that no one can stop this bomb?”

  The children clapped their hands on their mouths, their eyes almost going kaleidoscopic. The parents were utterly confused. Was this part of the nonsensical show?

  “No one but a girl named Mary Ann,” the Hatter explained.

  “Where is Mary Ann?” the children wailed, or played along to a silly joke. The parents didn’t know.

  “Mary Ann’s gone mad. She can’t come and save you.” He pouted. “But don’t worry.” He waved his hand again. “The Hatter is here to save the day.”

  “Yay!” The children relaxed.

  “You know what I’m going to do with this ticking bomb?” he said.

  The children shook
their heads.

  “I’m going to put it in my hat”—he did—“and wear my hat again.” He did that, too.

  “But the bomb will explode on your head!” a child offered, his friends laughing.

  “Not if I use my magic and turn it to something else.” The Hatter smiled.

  The children got the message and yelled, “A rabbit.”

  The Hatter nodded, took off his hat, and pulled out a white rabbit.

  The children in the circus clapped, most of them standing up and chuckling. The parents clapped along, still skeptical and worried.

  “So the bomb will not explode?” a child asked.

  “Hmm...” The Hatter sighed, but said nothing. He let the white, cute rabbit hop toward the crowd. “There are small slices of carrot underneath each of your chairs.” He pointed. “It would be nice if you feed it, right?”

  The children began competing on attracting the rabbit closer, having picked up the small pieces of carrot. The rabbit was really cute. A bit fat, though. It had bulging and pleading eyes that would have softened the greatest Wonderland Monster’s heart.

  Suddenly, amidst the circus’s cheering crowd, the rabbit hiccupped.

  “Easy on the rabbit,” a parent advised. “You’re feeding it too much.”

  But the children realized that this wasn’t the case.

  Each time the rabbit hiccupped, its ears glowed red. As protective as the parents were, they weren’t the first to realize what was going on. It was the children who noticed that each time the rabbit hiccupped, it also ticked.

  Slowly, and disappointedly, they raised their heads, looking at the Hatter, who sat sipping tea in the middle of the ring. “I guess the magic trick didn’t work.” He shrugged. “Try this.” He sipped again. “Tick?” He placed a hand behind his ear.

  “Tock?” the children said reluctantly, unsure of what kind of game this had turned into.

  “Boom!” the Hatter cheered, plowed the teacup against one of the poles that held the circus erect, and waved both hands sideways.

  That was when everyone began running like crazy.

  All but the Hatter. He stood up and clapped frantically at his own prank. He watched the crowd scream their way out of the circus while a white rabbit with a ticking bomb inside followed, heading to spread terror all over London.

  The Hatter pulled out his phone and dialed a number. He dialed 666, then flipped the phone upside down so it dialed 999 by itself. Some magic phone.

  “Hello,” he said, adjusting his hat. “There is a rabbit loose on the streets of London.”

  “A rabbit?” the emergency operator at the end of the line said. She almost hung up.

  “A rabbit with a bomb in it,” the Hatter said. “Don’t feed it carrots, or it will hiccup. And, oh, I almost forgot. Only one girl can stop the bomb. Her name is Mary Ann.”

  Chapter 1

  Psychiatry, Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum, Oxford

  Sunday, 6:00 a.m.

  The mysterious psychiatrist, hiding behind a curtain of darkness, still tries to persuade me of confessing my madness. I lie helpless on the couch, not caring to stand up. How can I when I am crippled all over again?

  This situation has begun occurring too often now. About once every three days. I wake up and I am in this darkened room, crippled and listening to the boring lessons from that nutcase on his rocking chair beside me. Sometimes I doubt he is a real psychiatrist—if any of this is even real. Why won’t he show his face?

  But I have to play along. At least until this episode of hallucination—or whatever is really going on—passes.

  It usually takes about ten minutes or so. Then I’d be back in my cell. Sleep for a while, then wake up as if nothing ever happened. I am starting to get used to it, only today’s episode started a bit too early. Who examines their patients at six in the morning?

  “I see you have a lot of bruises,” the psychiatrist says. “Got into a fight lately?”

  “I’ve been practicing.”

  “Practicing how to stomp against the walls of your cell?”

  “No.” I sigh. “It’s called None Fu.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “None Fu. An abbreviation for Nothing Fu. Like Kung Fu, you know?”

  “Kung means ‘achievement’ or ‘work,’” he notes. “Are you saying you’re practicing an art that is about ‘nothing’?”

  “You wouldn’t understand.” I sigh again, wishing the Pillar would send for me. I am hungry for another mad adventure, longing to save somebody’s life. It’s the only way I can stay relatively sane.

  “Try me.”

  “It’s an art that assumes that all kinds of real training is just bonkers,” I say. “Karate, wrestling, and martial arts don’t really need laws. Laws only imprison a person’s mind, and deprive him from the gift to be free. What you need is ‘True Will.’” I read about it in Jack’s book.

  “Just that?”

  “Just that.” I nod, aware of the absurdity of my words. “All you need is to ‘believe’ something is possible to get it done, although believing itself isn’t an easy matter.”

  “So you say you can fight, defend yourself, by mere belief, without having to take a scientific approach or having trained properly?” His voice is flat. I can’t tell if he is mocking me or considering it.

  “Yes.”

  “Apparently you didn’t learn much.” Now he sounds like he’s mocking me. “I mean, all those bruises on your body. Did you really hit the walls with your bare hands and feet, like Waltraud informed me?”

  “Yes,” I say. “It’s part of the training. I should be repeating it until mastery.” My whole body aches. I have been practicing all week in my cell. Jumping, running against the wall, and walking on my hands. I was following all the nonsensical instructions from the book.

  “Mastery?” He smokes that pipe again. I can smell the weirdly familiar tobacco.

  “Don’t make fun of me,” I say. “You’re my doctor. You’re supposed to help me.”

  “I am helping you,” he insists, “by pushing your imagination so hard that your mind can’t accept the madness you’re imagining anymore. When we reach that tipping point, you’ll find yourself remembering, and accepting your reality.”

  “Which is?” I shrug.

  “That you’re a troubled girl who killed her friends by driving a school bus into a horrible accident, and that now you’re crippled, locked in an asylum because your mind refuses to admit the truth.” He blurts the sentence in one breath. “It’s a very simple truth, actually. Once you’re able to confront it, you’ll recover.”

  I have nothing to say. It scares me to even think about it. Is that all there is to my life? Am I just a mad Alice, thrown down into an imaginary rabbit hole, and now all I need is to confess it was all a dream, just like in Lewis Carroll’s book?

  “Alice?” He sounds as if trying to gently wake me up from a nightmare.

  “Yes, I’m listening,” I reply. “You said you’re pushing my imagination to the limits until I won’t be able to imagine anymore. Right? And that only then will I be forced to retreat back to reality. Is that how you treat all your patients? Because I don’t think I’ve ever heard about this.”

  “It’s a scientific process.” His rocking chair creaks against the floor. “We call it the Rabbit Hole.”

  “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “No. It’s a scientific technique,” he says. “The Rabbit Hole is a metaphor for the road you have to fall onto to push your imagination to the max, which will eventually result in igniting a certain suppressed memory or emotion. A memory so real and strong the patient can’t deny it. Thus the patient comes back to the real world, and is cured from their madness. Of course, it’s coined after Lewis Carroll’s book.”

  I wonder why Lewis Carroll’s name comes up in this conversation. Why would a physician coin a scientific method after a man who wrote a children’s book? “Trust me, doctor,” I say, “I would love it if your method works.” I don’t
know if I am lying. In all honesty, I am beginning to like my own world. The Pillar, the Cheshire, Tom Truckle, the Queen, Fabiola, and Jack. All the madness and nonsense and uncertainty seem to have had a magical impact on me.

  “I certainly hope so,” he says. “How about I call Waltraud to roll you back to your cell? We’ve had enough for today.”

  “One more thing, doctor,” I say. “There is something I’d like to ask you before I go.”

  “Please do.”

  “How come physicians are referencing Lewis Carroll in terms like the Rabbit Hole? I mean, isn’t Lewis Carroll just a Victorian writer who wrote a children's book?”

  “Interesting question. Well, Lewis Carroll had an uncanny interest in mental illness.”

  “He did?”

  “Of course. It’s documented,” he says. “Also, Lewis himself suffered from terrible migraines, which presumably caused his stuttering. Sometime the migraines left him unconscious for hours, probably dreaming his stories.”

  “What?” I knew Lewis stuttered. I saw it myself. But I didn’t realize he had such horrible migraines.

  “He took so many drugs for the migraines, but they wouldn’t go away,” the doctor elaborates. “He tried to cure himself with the most horrible torture instruments.”

  “What are you saying, exactly?” I am angered.

  “Maybe Lewis Carroll was just as insane,” he says, “as you are.”

  Chapter 2

  The Six O’clock Circus, Mudfog Town, London

  Sunday, 8:05 a.m.

  An hour later, the Pillar’s chauffeur drops me off at the so-called crime scene.

  It’s seven thirty in the morning on a foggy Sunday. After my psychiatry session, I fainted to the sight of my crippled self in the mirror. When I awoke, I wasn’t crippled anymore. Waltraud informed me I would be transported to “outside counseling” again. This time, my ruthless warden had looked highly suspicious of the matter, but she couldn’t intervene.