Blood, Milk & Chocolate - Part 2 Read online

  The old woman watched Angel walk away, the tense look still filling her eyes. It baffled me because it wasn’t an evil look. It was the cautious look of a woman who knew too much, which really scared me.

  Who was I, really?

  Angel left the tower, but I stayed a little longer. Not that long. Just long enough to know of the woman’s name. A name that didn’t tell me much back then. Not until years later, when she became a resident of the Kingdom of Sorrow herself.

  The younger girls in cloaks called the woman Grandmother Madly.

  Chapter 48

  The Queen’s Diary

  As I discreetly followed Angel back to our kingdom, I still had many questions on my mind. I wanted to know, who gave birth to these babies? Who was the woman who had sacrificed her life for the cause against defeating the Piper, and was she really a hundred-years-old?

  And of course, I wished to know if I was going to also learn who the sun baby was one day?

  Back in the castle, I pretended I knew nothing. I didn’t want to burden Angel with my discovery. He had already put a lot of effort into keeping the truth from me. I respected that — at least, I tried to convince myself I did.

  He showed me the baby and I pretended not to know her name. I played along and loved her instantly. She stayed with us in the castle for three days, and it almost broke my heart when we celebrated our new moon in Sorrow, because I was really going to miss her being so far away from me.

  As people celebrated the moon, I wondered if the sun was another girl; or was it a boy? Was I supposed to not know about it forever? It confused me.

  In the middle of my confusion, I knew that seeing those beautiful babies in Angel’s arms had made me want a child of my own all the more. My desire for motherhood was consuming my soul. I knew in my heart, that I was born to be a mother, and seeing Angel cradle newborns that weren't ours was agonizing.

  It was time to have a child, to give birth to the Chosen One, and I wished to God it was going to be as beautiful as the moon.

  But why didn’t I get pregnant I wondered, while drinking a potion Angel would stir for me each night to calm me down. It was a soothing drink; a recipe Angel had been taught by a strange islander called Georgie Porgie.

  “Do you think we should get help?” I asked Angel. “I mean why can’t I get pregnant?”

  “It’s only time,” Angel said nonchalantly. “Only time, Carmilla,” he kissed me on the forehead again. “We’ll have our Chosen One soon.”

  I wanted to argue that it had been three years on the island already. That Lady Shallot had predicted our safety for sixteen years only. But then, I realized that I wasn’t sure which sixteen years she had been talking about. From the date my daughter was born, or since we’ve arrived on the island?

  Why did Lady Shallot have to be cryptic about everything?

  The question resonated with me in the middle of the night. I put on my royal robe and walked out to the balcony, watching the beautiful moon shining over the kingdom. And that was the moment when I realized that Lady Shallot had only been so cryptic with me. Apparently, she had told Angel more than she had told me.

  I wondered if she, too, thought I was evil at my core like Grandmother Madly. “Hypocrite weaver,” I cursed her under my breath. “How could she think that evil is a point of view and then think I am evil at the core?”

  Why couldn’t I get pregnant, damn it?

  In the distance I saw a new Dragonship arrive at the Missing Mile. Another set of people had been sent to us by Lady Shallot. It meant Charmwill was going to be on the ship. So, I descended from the castle and rode my calash to meet him. My transportation was driven by a hairy silent man called Managarm. Angel has chosen him for me. A silent driver who obeyed me in all matters. The only strange thing about him was his utter fascination with the moon — sometimes I felt it wasn’t in a good way.

  At the shore, I found Charmwill Glimmer welcoming and guiding the newcomers. The parrot named Pickwick – also known as the Book of Beautiful Lies – rode on his shoulder, Charmwill always protecting him fiercely.

  “How can I help you, my favorable Queen?” Charmwill threw me his charming smile. It occurred to me to ask if he knew Grandmother Madly, but I passed.

  “Please don’t call me Queen,” I laughed. “You know better than that.”

  “But you are the Queen of Sorrow,” he said. “I may have shown you the way to the island, but the island is yours, not mine.”

  “Whatever you say, Charmwill,” I smiled back. “Do have a minute to spare? I need to ask you something.”

  “You tell me, and I obey, my Queen,” he showed me to a place atop of a small hill, away from the new arrivals. “What do you wish to ask me?”

  I looked hesitantly at Pickwick, fearing he’d listen.

  “Don’t worry, he is mute.” Charmwill said.

  “I am Pickwick, and I am mute,” The parrot squealed.

  “That’s comforting,” I rolled my eyes.

  “Don’t fear Pickwick,” Charmwill assured me. “So how can I help?”

  “I am embarrassed to tell you, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to,” I began. “Angel and I have been trying to have a baby, the Chosen One. But it’s not happening. I am not getting pregnant.”

  “I see,” Charmwill rubbed his chin.

  “You know more than any of us. Does the prophecy tell of a time I have to give birth to her?”

  “Of course,” Charmwill said. “You should have had her already.”

  I was shocked at his answer, although he didn’t look angered or worried.

  “So why haven’t I?”

  “Prophecies are guidelines, small strokes on the palette of life,” he said. “They don’t come in fixed timelines. It could be anything.”

  “But it doesn’t seem right. I think Angel is keeping something from me. He talks too much to Lady Shallot and never tells me what is going on.”

  Charmwill looked a bit serious – not much – just enough to let me know he had an idea of what was going on. “Would you permit me to speak freely, my Queen?”

  “Of course. Please do.”

  “There is a reason why you’re not having a baby.”

  “And you know it?”

  “You’re under a sort of spell, my Queen.”

  “Spell? You mean witchcraft?”

  He nodded. Pickwick nodded, too.

  “You mean one of the peasants did this to me?” I said. “I knew I shouldn’t have delved into learning this craft. I knew it would hurt me. I only needed to kill time, being alone in the castle most of the time.”

  Charmwill and Pickwick exchanged looks. Then Charmwill said, “It’s not a peasant who did this to you.”

  “Then who? Speak up? Who’d want me not to have a baby? Is it Night Von Sorrow?”

  “Not him,” Charmwill said. “It’s someone who has been slipping a Rapunzel plant into your drink every night.”

  At first I couldn’t grasp it. To tell the truth, I didn’t want to.

  “Does the Georgie Porgie drink ring a bell?” he said.

  “Are you sure, Charmwill? I mean this can’t be—”

  “I am sure,” he said. “Angel Von Sorrow doesn’t want the baby.”

  Chapter 49

  The Queen’s Diary

  It seemed contradictory, seeing how tenderly Angel loved the baby sun and baby moon, yet refused to have a child of his own. How could he not want the Chosen One to be born?

  I didn’t have the guts to confront him. Because, for many nights, I worried if I really slept with a Sorrow. Was Angel fooling me, playing me for his father? He did once when he was sixteen-years-old, when his father had sent him to mingle with students in the school in Lohr. Why not again?

  But it puzzled me why he would do this. What was the point in fooling me? They could have simply killed me.

  Then, more days passed and I couldn’t make love to Angel anymore. I felt so distant — sometimes afraid. I’d let him take the blood he needed from
me each night and then would spend the night awake in bed, not trusting him.

  I felt so alone on the island.

  Each day I woke up with a smile on my face, waving at the sun, wishing it would wink back at me, acknowledging that she — or he — knew me. But it didn’t. Neither did the baby moon, who was supposed to descend late at night to fight the nocturnal creatures that threatened the beautiful people of Sorrow.

  Some nights, I woke up in the middle of the night and the moon wasn’t up there. Then, I’d catch a glimpse of a beautiful girl in a black cloak, out in the castle’s garden, playing. She had that halo of light shimmering from under her cloak. Only once did she wave at me — or so I thought.

  But I couldn’t wave back. I couldn’t tell her that I knew her. I was suddenly afraid that I really was evil.

  Then, more days went by, and like usual, life got in the way. In my case, it was the night Night Von Sorrow found us.

  I am oblivious as to how he did it, but it seemed that he was introduced to the Hell towns in the Real World, where he could cross over to our island. And suddenly we were at war, trying to kill whoever tried to cross over from Night’s army.

  The situation continued for months, until my witchcraft skills came in handy at the time. I was taught by an immigrant woman called Dame Gothel, and I was able to enchant the borders of our kingdom, the door from Hell, with spells that prevented enemies from entering.

  Dame Gothel was a mysterious woman whom I’d like to talk about later. She had been married to a weak man named Geppetto once, and she had given birth to two children whom she had originally called Hansel and Gretel.

  But Dame Gothel helped strengthen my spells. So much that I was able to give power to the magical thorn bushes that differentiated locals from intruders by slashing at their bodies and tasting their blood. I called it the Wall of Thorns.

  Doing that stopped the intrusion temporarily. It also allowed me to visit the Field of Dreams again. This time I heard the peasants’ rumors. They claimed a dead girl could be resurrected through it if she slept in the fields for a hundred years.

  I wondered if it had anything to do with the woman who gave birth to the sun and moon.

  This incident almost ended my interactions with Angel. He began to freak out about the intrusion, and his war on the borders against his own family turned into a priority over everything.

  It was a war that never ended; a war that kept Angel away from me, and it drove me crazy, wondering why he didn’t want the Chosen One to be born if she had the power to help end this mess.

  One night, I rode my horse to the border and finally confronted Angel. It took me hours to pressure him to tell me the truth. In the end, he told me this, “I think you should pay Lady Shallot a visit.”

  “Why?” I said.

  “If you want to have a baby, Carmilla, listen to Lady Shallot, and if you still want a child after that, then I will be with you until the end.”

  Chapter 50

  The Queen’s Diary

  In the end, I had to travel in my canoe and see Lady Shallot. And with each row of my oars on the Seven Seas, my desire to have a child intensified.

  “Nice to see you, Queen of Sorrow,” Lady Shallot said, watching me in the mirror, still weaving.

  “I am honored to be in your presence, Lady Shallot,” I said, and sat down.

  “I think you’re the youngest queen I have ever weaved a world for.” She turned around with a serene smile on her face. This time she looked like the mother of all mothers. Unlike before, I couldn’t help but love her, but I had a feeling she saw something in me that she didn’t like, too. It was time for the truth.

  “I hope I am up to it,” I said. “It’s not easy being a queen at my age. That’s why I wished I’d not only be a queen, but also a—”

  “Mother,” she nodded with closed eyes. “I can see it in your eyes, the eagerness to have a child.”

  “In my eyes, really?” I blushed, although she had her eyes closed.

  “It’s a beautiful glimmer,” she said. “And there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a child.”

  “The Chosen One,” I insisted, starting to be proud of it.

  “The Chosen One,” she nodded, opening her eyes.

  “So you have nothing against me having a child?”

  “Why would I? It’s not my job to judge.”

  “Then why did Angel feed me the drink with the Rapunzel plants, which you gave to him?”

  She didn’t react. “I knew you’d been following him. I knew you saw me give him the plants, but you should know that it wasn’t my idea. Like I said, I am not here to judge.”

  “It was Angel’s idea?”

  “Well, his idea, but frankly, only after I told him a few predictions about you.”

  “You said you’re not here to judge.”

  “But the universe sometimes does.”

  I stood up, offended. “I am fed up with all this talk about the universe and the balance it commands. Do you even know the universe? Have you met it?”

  “Again, it’s not my job to judge, including the imminent feeling inside me that the universe exists. That it’s unseeable or distant, that isn’t my issue. I know what I believe in my heart.”

  “I don’t want to hear any of this,” I said. “All I want is to have a child without anyone trying to stop me.”

  “But the truth is, you’re not allowed to have a child.”

  “Says who?”

  “The universe.”

  This time I had had it. I turned to leave.

  “Do you think by leaving you can have your child?” Lady Shallot said, and I stopped.

  “Are you saying it will stop me?”

  “Unapologetically,” she said. “You and your husband are in debt to her, and you haven’t paid it back yet.”

  “I thought I am in debt to the Lost Seven.”

  “You’re in debt to the universe in the form of the Lost Seven. The universe saved you from drowning in the ocean, and showed you my island to grant you a kingdom, not the people you met and you think helped you.”

  I wasn’t convinced, but apparently a higher power stood in my way to having a baby. “So why won't the universe allow us to have a child? Why, when the Chosen One can save the world?”

  “It’s not quite so,” Lady Shallot said. “You actually should have a child with Angel, according to the prophecy. In fact, that child could be the world’s savior like you said.”

  “So what is the goddamn problem?”

  “You have to fulfill one condition to have a child.”

  “I am willing to do whatever it takes,” I said.

  “It’s not as easy as you think it is.”

  “I am listening,” I said, knowing that I was about to be asked to do something horrible, so I may have a child in return.

  “The universe, as you know, demands balance,” Lady Shallot repeated. I clenched my teeth so I won’t burst out with anger. “Balance comes from opposition. A sun won’t be born unless there is a moon. A man won’t exist unless there is a woman. A day won’t shine unless there is night to darken it.”

  “And what kind of balance does the universe demand of me to have a child?” I cut to the chase.

  “That’s the wrong question to ask,” Lady Shallot abandoned the thread and looked at me. It was a piercing look. “You know the sleeping woman who gave birth to your sun and moon?”

  “How did you know that I knew about that?”

  “I see a lot in my mirror, but that’s not the point,” she said. “This woman you saw is like you. In order to give birth to a sun, she had to also give birth to a moon. In fact, they are siblings. Some would say twins, although one is older than the other. There is no telling if the sun is maybe evil and the moon is good. But in your case, you will have to give birth to both - one who is evil and one who is good.”

  “You mean if the universe allows me, I will give birth to twins?” I said.

  “Since part of the prophecy claims the c
hild you will have with Angel will be a special one,” she said. “The universe won’t allow her birth, unless the balance is granted.”

  “You mean I will have to give birth to another one that is…” I shrugged. “Evil?”

  “The universe sees it that way,” Lady Shallot leaned back, away from me, abandoning me to the painful decision I had to make.

  “But you said evil is a point of view?”

  “That’s true. And to the universe, it sees one of your children as evil, the other as good. It’s not necessarily what you think is right, but we can’t argue with the universe’s all seeing eyes.”

  “And even so, how can I raise two different children? What am I going to do with the evil one?”

  “People are made from the sum of the decisions they make in their lives, and nothing is free in this world. A woman who wants a child to light up her world, has to go through the pain of bringing it out to the world. The child’s first action in the world is to scream and cry. It’s all to balance the world,” she said. “It’s your choice. Either you will have no child, or you will have two.”

  “And all of that is because I, a Karnstein, fell in love with Angel — who’s a descendant of the Sorrows,” I considered.

  “You two were not supposed to meet, yet you were supposed to meet, if that makes any sense,” Lady Shallot said.

  “It doesn’t, but I am up to the challenge. I will have a child — children,” I said. “What do I have to do?”

  “You will have to go to Swan Lake,” said Lady Shallot.

  Chapter 51

  The Queen’s Diary

  “Swan Lake? I don’t understand.”

  “You will when you get there,” Lady Shallot said, and ordered me to close my eyes. She told me to take a deep breath, and when I opened my eyes, I would be back in Sorrow where Swan Lake was located.

  When I opened my eyes, I was astonished by the existence of a lake in our kingdom, which I knew nothing about before. I wondered if Charmwill knew about it and never told us.